Cranky with my (Imaginary) Housekeeper

Dear (Imaginary) Housekeeper,

Is it too much to ask that you make daily trips to Whole Foods and HEB to ensure that I have yummy berry, granola, yogurt parfaits (available at Whole Foods) and Diet Coke (not available at Whole Foods) for my breakfast? Where are the freshly made salads with quinoa for my lunch?

While you're at it, we need a new ironing board cover, so you can finish that ironing from the past two weeks. I admit it's a smidge silly that I want my jammie bottoms ironed, but they feel so much better when ironed, as do the pillow cases. Don't fuss about it. I know people who make their (real/not imaginary) housekeepers iron all the sheets for king-size beds.

You neglected to roll out the trash bin for collection, so I had to do it at 2:15 AM when I arrived home from work. I'm not sure the neighbors loved that noise. Also, there was no light snack awaiting my arrival home. How hard is it to have a little plate of cheese cubes, grapes and fresh berries with chilled cucumber water ready for my post-midnight munchies?

I'm shocked that you did not replace the dog's freshly laundered faux-fur blanket on the sofa last night before bedtime to keep her real fur from weaving into the cushions. I know I put a towel down for her, but she moved it.

I work hard, and I expect people in my (imaginary) employ to work hard also. Get it together.

Now run to Tacodeli and pick up my to-go order. You can take my car, but print an updated proof of insurance first. I don't want you getting a ticket. See? I'm always thinking of you. You should be so considerate to me.

Thanks,
Jenn

Thinking

I'm thinking I need this book:

I'm thinking I need to take a class at Spruce to learn to reupholster a chair:

I'm thinking I can pull off these camo chinos:

I'm thinking it's pretty cool to learn new skills at my apprenticeship with Christine Fail Jewelry:

What are you thinking lately? 

My Home Finishes Manifesto

1. Laminate does not belong on countertops. Or floors. Or anywhere.
2. Granite is over. It has been for a while. Deal.
3. Quartz is acceptable.
4. The right composite is also acceptable.
5. If the stove/oven aren't gas, then I'm not cooking/baking on/in it.
6. French door refrigerators with freezers on the bottom are divine.
7. Fiberglass is not an acceptable material for anything that involves plumbing.
8. Glass windows with metal frames or thick wood frames. No vinyl. None.
9. White subway tiles are timeless.
10. If you love it, then hey, you be you.

My Valentine Gave Me a Dragon

My Valentine knows what I like. I've been pining for this Jonathan Adler ceramic dragon for quite a while. The lovely is finally mine! Heartfelt thanks to Chad for indulging my dragon habit.

I put him on the bedroom dresser, so I can see him when I wake up each morning. Well, at least on the mornings I wake up after sunrise.

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In other "put a dragon on it" news, MINI designed a dragon-mobile. Follow *this link* for the other motorist-steered custom designs. Vote for the dragon. It's seriously my favorite one. 

MINI o' Mine

People at the MINI dealerships write MINI in all caps. Maybe to relay the mighty motors and precision handling under the little exterior. Maybe because MINIs are so exciting, that one must visually yell to herald it. Maybe because it just looks better from a graphic standpoint. Whatever the reason, I got my own MINI. I love it.

My MINI handles like a dream, is a joy to drive, gets great gas mileage, looks like a Tiffany box on wheels and yields a monthly payment less than my Mazda 3.

Speaking of my Mazda 3, Chad drives it now. Long story short, he is fine. No one else was involved. Chad wrecked his lovely orange MINI S Coupe. His MINI protected him like a shark cage. No more two-seater, sporty cars for Chad for a while. He has crossed off of his bucket list, "find the limits of a sports car."

All glibness aside, I'm so very thankful that Chad wasn't injured, that he didn't harm anyone else and that we have good insurance.

Five Coats for Three Doors

As previously complained about, I've been getting much fewer hours at work of late. After successfully catching up on sleep, reading and moisturizing, a bee in my bonnet suggested that I repaint the three exterior doors on the 1952 House from black to something more lively. I wanted a color to contrast the boring British Khaki shingle siding. (I never thought I'd live in a khaki house. I usually hate khaki and all the beige cousins, but that's an expenditure for another day.) Standing in the paint aisle of Lowe's, Chad gave his blessings for LaFonda Fireberry. It took five coats of Duramax semi-gloss to fully banish the black doors. I love it! I decorated with lots of warm reds and oranges in the house, so the red doors hint at, and provide transition to, the colors inside the 1952 House. 

Front Door

Side Door to Carport

Back Door to Deck

Radiant Orchid Cupcakes

Pantone's 2014 color of the year is radiant orchid. I had some purple sugar sprinkles in the cabinet (bought for what, I haven't a clue), and decided that they are radiant orchid. I'm so fashion forward that way. I had to bake something on which to sprinkle the radiant orchid sugars: vanilla cupcakes with vanilla cream frosting. The cupcakes made use of almond extract while the frosting used vanilla extract, whipping cream, butter and powdered sugar. The recipe tasted good, but I'd like to try the recipe again with fresh lemon zest and juice in place of the extracts. I wonder if lemon juice will make the whipping cream curdle. I'm trying out some frosting methods with my new piping bag and tips. Admittedly, some cupcakes looked better than others. 

In other news, after working full-time without full-time benefits for approximately eight months at my retail visuals job, my scheduled work hours drastically reduced the past six weeks, typically working only five to fourteen hours per week. The past two weeks, I've been scheduled zero hours with two or three on-call shifts. On-call shifts irritate me greatly. Workers are obligated to call the store two hours before their scheduled on-call shifts to see if they are actually working or not. It's a way for employers to reserve an employee's time (or hold your time hostage as I like to say) without paying employees for that time and without guaranteeing any work during that time. My immediate supervisor (bless her!) took pity on me, and verbally gave me a five hour shift for this week. 

It's near impossible to keep track of sales, promotions and policy changes at my retail employer when I'm only working five hours per week. Consequently, I also feel next to zero engagement or ownership in that job when I'm only there five hours per week.

Part of me thinks I should enjoy these reduced hour work weeks, because it leaves more time to bake, read, exercise, do chores and take tiling classes at the Home Depot. (I took a kitchen and bathroom tiling class Sunday. The teacher said I'm a natural.) Part of me sees the economic reality of working more hours per week if Chad and I ever want to take another vacation and/or want to pay off the mortgage early. Both of which we definitely want to do. 

Stay tuned for probable job search hijinks in the near future.

But It's Not February Yet

It's tempting to leave the Christmas decorations up all winter to brighten up gloomy days. All good things must come to an end, or risk losing their specialness. Until we meet again, holiday decorations, enjoy the newly organized and freshly cleaned shed.

Let's Talk About Socks

When a Bangladesh clothing factory roof collapsed in 2012 killing more than 1100 people, I could no longer justify purchases from low cost clothing retailers. Plus I grew weary of the semi-disposable nature of disintegrating knits and fraying polyesters. After abandoning bargain brands that likely pose high costs to humanity, Chad implored me with a slight edge of desperation to his voice, "where am I supposed to get basics like socks?" After the tiniest bit of research, I have a few good answers.

Bombas Socks not only sport great design and quality, but also donate one pair of socks to people in need for each pair of socks sold.  Chad received a pair of ankle socks and mid-calf socks from Bombas in his latest Birchbox. The socks are a perfect thickness, soft and shaped well. I wish-listed the grey eight pack for women. I love the pops of color and the bee emblem. I also love that the sock engineers got rid of the seam bump most socks have that typically lines up with my pinkie toe and makes blisters.

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Nice Laundry sells multi-packs of color coordinated and pattern coordinated socks. Nice Laundry also offers a luxurious-sounding "sock drawer makeover" of eighteen new pairs of socks for $99. Customers can request a mailing envelope from Nice Laundry to recycle old socks at a textile mill: still usable socks go to people in need while rattier socks get turned into insulation.  The founders of Nice Laundry work directly with their South Korean factory and don't advertise much to minimize overhead costs. My only complaint with these socks is that they are more tailored to men's sizes. I have small feet. These won't work for me, but will be great for Chad.

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Zkano Socks are made in Alabama from sustainable organic cotton. Zkano offers oodles of options for good looking socks in many sizes and styles. I love the story about the origin of Zkano socks. I love the photos of the socks. I love the website. I'm about to order a pair or twelve.

Get going and shop for some socks in good conscience!

Major Achievement of 2013

1000 piece puzzle 

pure imagination

Chihuly glass

In November 2012 Chad and I went to an amazing Chihuly glass installation at the Dallas Arboretum. It wasn't until September 2013, that I actually started the puzzle I bought there. Then I didn't touch it for a few months. With only one day left in 2013, Chad and I finally finished the most difficult puzzle we've ever done. 

Yep. It's a non-stop party at the 1952 House.

We Made Merry

We had a relaxing, quiet Christmas at the 1952 House. (Just what I wanted/needed as a retail visuals minion who worked Christmas Eve and at 6:00 AM the day after Christmas/today.) We opened lots of nice presents. We talked on the phone to family members. We texted friends. I baked cookies, which Chad loved, but I opine need a little tweaking. 

In typical 1952 House Christmas fashion, we decked the dog with bows. Janie loved it! (Or quite possibly she is totally over it, and it was never her favorite tradition.)

We also put a bow from a gift on Kenji, but it made her fall over and growl. (Yes, she is a cat. Yes, she growls.) The bow came off of Kenji before a Kodak moment could happen.

Hope your Christmas was sane, enjoyable, safe and comfortable. 

Last Dinner Mystery Show

I performed in my last dinner mystery show Saturday night at the Driskill Hotel. I love the Driskill Hotel for its history, architecture and sense of grandeur. Students from the Auguste Escoffier School of Culinary Arts in Austin made a gingerbread replica of the Driskill complete with the Christmas tree inside. Take a peek.

The Driskill Hotel Christmas Tree

While I love the Driskill Hotel, the banquet room in which we performed featured a giant ten foot by ten foot square column in the center of the room. Of the 140 audience members, I would hazard to guess that only 50 of them could see or hear us at any given time because of the column that effectively divided the odd-shaped room into three sections. On a good day, I am sheepish about performing in silly dinner mystery shows. Last Saturday was a tough day in a tough room. Cue the sad trombone. 

At least I had a valid excuse to loiter in the Driskill Hotel lobby at Christmas-time for lovely surroundings and lively people-watching.

Merry and Bright Lights

This would be our Christmas card photo if I liked photos of ourselves on Christmas cards, but I do not.

Chad tidings of comfort and joy and blur. And handsome. 

We went to Austin's Trail of Lights after crawling through awful traffic for ninety minutes. We saw lots of beautifully lighted trees and lots of plywood cutouts of unlicensed cartoon characters. Personally, I just love the lights, not so much the painted plywood. We ate churros, funnel cake, nachos and kettle corn. We drank hot cider and Mexican hot chocolate. Check all of that off the list for the year. 

Upon leaving Trail of Lights, I thanked Chad for driving and for coming with me. Then I told him we never have to go again. I'm happy to leave it to the kids and their roving gangs of double-wide strollers. (I have no problem with long, back-to-front multi-seat strollers, but personally opine that double-wide/side-by-side strollers pose a major menace to polite society. )

Trying to Stay Cozy & Warm

Marigold wedged herself between a pillow and an unguarded blanket.

Janie likes to model her new jacket, but refuses to wear it for walks. *sigh*

My Favorite & Unfavorite Things for December 11, 2013

In grand Christmas tradition, the song My Favorite Things rings out from many speakers. The lyrics evoke a love/hate list* similar to the ones our old friends made in college, but not at all similar to the consumer huggermugger that is Oprah’s Favorite Things. Here is my current love/hate list, in no particular order.

Love list

      1.  Fall

      2.  Spring

      3.  Chad

      4.  That Chad lives in Austin most of the time now, versus living in NYC, San Francisco, and the not-so-friendly skies of business commuter flights

      5.  Netflix

      6. Kenji – She is willful and fiercely cuddly.

      7.  Sonic – He is such a sweet, funny, giant, chirpy man-cat

      8.  Marigold – She is a funny old lady who loves a good toe rub and being carried around like a baby.

      9.  Janie – She does her best to sleep a lot like the kitties, but also loves a good walk.

      10.  Making the store pretty and organized, especially creating the window displays

      11.  Making our home pretty and organized 

      12.  Reading

      13.  Wrapping gifts

      14.  Baking sweet things

      15.  Free time

      16.  That our new neighbors (back and side) each took the initiative to get our shared fences repaired / rebuilt

      17.  My ancient, super-soft, thick cashmere sweater (Of course, I hope the cashmere came from ethically raised goats who didn’t need those belly hairs for their own warmth.)

      18.  The rush of endorphins from a good trip to the gym coupled with that well-stretched muscles feeling

      19.  The breakfast (or in my case brunch) hot bar at the big Whole Foods across the street from my workplace - One of the good things about having to be at work at 5:00 AM some days is getting my 10:00 AM brunch break. French toast, home fries and migas!

      20.  Taco Shack breakfast tacos

      21.  Taco Deli lunch tacos

      22.  Lip balms / chapsticks, especially Bonne Bell, Burt’s Bees and Lucky Tiger brands

      23.  Feeling like I belong (particularly at work right now, and always with my pack of pets and Chad)

      24.  American style iced tea – Luzianne is my low-brow favorite.

      25.  Gilt.com for shopping

Hate List

1.     Winter-type weather - It isn’t officially winter yet, but I’ve had enough of this cold, drippy weather. Enough, I say!

2.     Feeling like I don’t belong – especially among old friends

3.     Not having enough time to do little things I enjoy, like read

4.     My inability to sleep on airplanes

5.     Some of Sonic’s behaviors – Yes, it’s a love-hate deal with this burly boy. He bullies the other pets and pees on things other than cat litter. (He’s been to the vet multiple times for this issue, and he is neutered. It is not a health issue, but a purely territorial behavior.)

6.     Raisins – They ruin everything.

7.     Small enclosed spaces

8.     Chaos

9.     Crowds

10.  Facebook

*Our college friends, Lori B. and Melinda L., who were cousins, made a list of 25 things they loved and 10 things they hated. Then they sealed the envelope, writing the day’s date on the outside. They squirreled away the envelopes for later reading and evaluation. It was back before blogs were popular. I prefer a blog post to a hidden envelope.

Stuff & Whatnot

I got to spend another fun day at work making gift baskets. Some have sold - yay! My super-handy coworker, Lori, opined that she is no "lady who lunches type of girly-girl". Lori confessed that she burned holes in the cellophane with the heat gun, and wasn't sure what to put together for gifts. It's harder than it looks. Thanks for the validation, lady. That heat gun just takes a little practice.

As of last Friday, I have ten nieces and nephews! My sister birthed her seventh (!!!) baby, Elsie Laurel. Baby, Mom, Dad and siblings are all well, if sleep-deprived. Here are six of ten gifts wrapped and ready to ship out. I love wrapping gifts. And yes, I make my own bows.

Chad and I are both busy with work, holiday preparations and festive merrymaking. We've been hitting the sauce pretty hard: Diet Coke for me and sparkling water for him. This is the recycle stack for one day. We may have a problem. Got to stay hydrated (and in my case caffeinated) for seeing A Christmas Story at Paramount Theatre last Wednesday, and listening to Austin Chamber Music Society perform Vince Guaraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas music at Antone's yesterday. Also, I'm procrastinating studying my lines for a private party dinner mystery show this week. The show is at Austin's historic Driskill Hotel. I can't wait to see the Christmas decorations and the gingerbread replica of the hotel!

I got myself some snarky memoirs. I don't know when I'll have time to read them. Maybe I should read one before I study my lines. No! Must study lines!

Challenge for the week: Stay sane (or try to pretend you are) this holiday season. If you want good customer service, you must be a good customer. Wait your turn. Be polite. Remember that retail employees and call center representatives are barely keeping it together this time of year. Make their day by playing nice. PLEASE.

Merry & Bright Photos

The C9 bulbs at night shine nice & bright.

The tree canopy is trimmed too high,
so we hang ornaments from the roofline this year.

Oh Christmas Tree!
I grew up with strictly themed, tonal-palette,
white-flocked Christmas trees with only white lights.
As an adult, I'm all about the jewel tones on the living room Christmas tree.

New ornament in honor of me becoming a handy lady on the visuals / make-it-pretty team.

New double-decker ornament to commemorate our trip to London.
Nevermind that it was made in China and purchased from Pottery Barn online.

Yes, we have a mini-tree in the bedroom. Get over it.
Mini-tree features mid-century style, pastel ornaments,
and keeps the cats mesmerized for hours.

Lights & Flicks Picks

As a retail visuals minion, I decorated (and repeatedly refilled with decorations) at least five different Christmas trees before I decorated our own two Christmas trees here at ye olde 1952 House. (Photos forthcoming of living room tree and bedroom tree.) I decided that while LED lights may be better for the environment, they burn my eyes as if looking directly into a series of miniature suns, and emanate a most unpleasant visual experience. Sorry, Earth. I'm a retro C9 light bulb fan all the way. (Photos of outdoor lighting on ye olde 1952 house forthcoming.)

In an effort to get my head and self out of retail land this holiday season, here are my top picks for holiday light displays and holiday movie showings in Austin.

Trail of Lights, I can't quit you. As crazy-crowded, flappy-foot-walker-infested and chaotic as the Trail of Lights can be, I love it! Funnel cake, kettle corn, hot chocolate and enough lights to send the electricity generators into overdrive transport me to my festive happy place. Trail of Lights also offers prepaid parking and zip passes this year to help navigate the crowds (and cover costs, I'm sure).

The Holiday Film Series at the Paramount Theatre makes my movie watching merry and bright with classics such as White Christmas, A Christmas Story, Love Actually and It's a Wonderful Life shown in a historically and architecturally significant, grand setting.

While I consider New Year's Eve to be a hot mess of unbridled bad behavior/bad choices opportunities, I love fireworks. Chad and I will likely take advantage of my employee parking pass and walk down to the Austin's New Year fireworks show at 10:00 on New Year's Eve.

I haven't made it to Austin's new Royers Pie Haven yet, but it's high on my to-do list this holiday season. The original location in Round Top, Texas makes amazing pies, and now trucks them to Austin daily. Conveniently located alarmingly close to the 1952 House at 2900 B Guadalupe Street, Chad and I will be there soon.

Put a Dragon on it

Put a bird on it. No way. So cliché. Put a dragon on it. 

I added the Natori Dragon euro sham. Love it. Keeping it.

Gift Inspiration at Work

I made some cellophane-wrapped gift baskets for my retail job. It was fun to do. Place your bets now as to whether or not a single one will sell.

Upon boss-lady Kat's instruction I made a self-service gift wrapping station for customers. I love to wrap gifts. So does my coworker, Stephanie. If we're not there, knock yourselves out.