Thursday, January 05, 2023

Manic Hobgoblin's 2023 Resolutions

Manic Hobgoblin currently resides in a P.O. box in Delaware.

My inner Manic Hobgoblin previously lived in my head rent-free, and inspired all sorts of big ideas and projects. Some of the things inspired by Manic Hobgoblin, such as landscaping projects when Chad and I first bought our home, turned out well. Other things inspired by Manic Hobgoblin over the years have lead to burnout, such as the years when I held three jobs at once. Manic Hobgoblin thankfully went missing during the worst of the pandemic "stay home" days, but he has resurfaced. 

Manic Hobgoblin has taken up residence in a P.O. box in Delaware (for tax purposes) where he launched a Limited Liability Company. Manic Hobgoblin tried to convince me to become an early investor in his LLC with an exciting opportunity to get in on the ground floor, but I refused. I can't tell what the LLC even does, and Manic Hobgoblin can't sit still long enough to coherently explain it. I highly suspect that Manic Hobgoblin's LLC is a scam. I blocked his phone number, but Manic Hobgoblin uses fake accounts on Instagram to slide into my DMs. I try to ignore his mania and toxically obstinate optimism. I don't have the time or energy that I once had for his nonsense. Manic Hobgoblin said he'll leave me alone if I share his new year resolutions on the blog. 

1. Streamline all processes into an easy to follow flowchart, thereby removing uncertainty from most of daily life. (Editorial note: I've seen the flowchart. It looks like a pile of spaghetti. There is nothing easy to follow about it. Also Manic Hobgoblin has failed to account for human emotion in all circumstances.)

2. Make a viral video for YouTube. Parlay that into a successful YouTube channel with 1 million subscribers in the first year. (Editorial note: You can't just make a viral video. It gains traction organically, or you've paid for the likes and subscribes.)

3. Recoup losses from cryptocurrency investments with a class action lawsuit. (Editorial note: Oh no, Manic Hobgoblin! I told you that cryptocurrencies are highly volatile. Your best hope with a class action lawsuit is to recoup pennies on the dollar. )

4. Sign a lease for the LLC on a bigger property in Delaware with waterfront views. (Editorial note: That will certainly be a step up from the P.O. box.)

5. Win the HGTV Dream Home, and actually live it. (Editorial note: The federal, state, and local taxes will bankrupt you. You have to immediately sell it if you win. And you can't just resolve to win it.) 

Regardless of Manic Hobgoblin, I don't personally make new year resolutions. I try to do my best each day to be kind, and to take care of myself, Chad, and my pets. The closest thing to a resolution for me is setting a Goodreads goal of reading forty books this year.