My inner Manic Hobgoblin lives in my head rent-free. He creates truly unhinged schemes that skate a thin line between lunacy and genius. Manic Hobgoblin doesn't like to sit still. He says he'll sleep when he's dead. For most of 2024, Manic Hobgoblin got stuck in a cycle of buying up distressed properties in areas on the verge of a comeback. This week I gently reminded him about New Year resolutions. He exited his cave-bunker, which has surprisingly good internet connection, just long enough to rattle off the following resolutions.
1. Buy the Earth's Sun, and charge people money for using its light. Manic Hobgoblin Industries, LLC, just needs a few more investors to make this a reality. If you'd like to get in on the ground floor of this amazing opportunity, call 1-555-867-5309, where friendly operators will gladly record your social security number, bank account information, credit card numbers, name of your first pet, name of your favorite child and their birthday. (Editor's note: Do not call! This is a scam.)
2. Become a top-rated Peloton instructor with a cult-like following. Then actually start a cult. (Editor's note: Peloton class is fine. Cult is bad.)
3. Further measure the monetization of podcasts, such as recording if listeners skipped the advertisements, tracking actionable purchases from listeners via internet cookies, yum cookies, thereby making it nearly impossible for 95% of podcasters to break even on podcasts, much less make any income. (Editor's note: That's already happened. Dangit, Manic Hobgoblin, did you already do this in 2024, and added it to your 2025 resolutions for an easy checkmark?)
4. Take a hiking trip in Vermont during peak Autumn foliage color, making sure to sample maple syrup and Ben & Jerry's ice cream along the way. (Editor's note: Say less. Take me with you.)
5. Buy a modern mansion in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, in order to more easily stalk a certain former A-list celebrity who is rumored to have purchased a home there, and engineer a meet-cute at the local Illuminati clubhouse. (Editor's note: I'm not sure that your source is reliable. Also, the first rule of the Illuminati is, there is no Illuminati. That house is striking, though.)
Hahahahahahaha. Oh, Manic Hobgoblin, please seek mental health care.
My own plans for 2025 include a reading goal of 44 books, go hiking in Vermont during peak fall foliage, maybe move across the street into a fancy new apartment while we do major renovation of our sweet old house, and after we get settled back at our newly renovated sweet old house, adopt a new-to-us adult dog. I miss having a dog.
In 2024, I read 65 books, surpassing my goal of 40 books. I blame all the time I spend at the library, and the excellent library resources such as physical media, Hoopla, and Libby, for this overachievement.
In 2024, Chad and I took a really challenging guided hiking trip through Acadia National Park. It was amazingly beautiful. I'm so proud of us for (mostly) keeping up with our (much) younger hiking trip companions. We also kayaked around Bar Harbor, Maine, which was a gorgeous adventure. I'll blog about it later here.
In 2024, we lost our sweet carport cat, Sabrina, and gained a rat problem within six months. Correlation? Causation? Some minor construction to seal off points of ingress, and some traps (sorry, rats, really sorry) took care of the rat problem.
In 2024, we said goodbye to Chad's dad when the hospice nurse urged us to get there as soon as possible. On that unplanned trip we witnessed the aurora borealis during the solar storms in May. Checkmark.
Happy New Year. I wish you moments of happiness, moments of stillness, and moments of awe in 2025.
