Monday, February 18, 2019

Manic Hobgoblin's Resolutions

My inner Manic Hobgoblin made some New Year's Resolutions. (Don't worry. I already ignored or broke all of them.)

1. Hit the gym at least five days a week. No excuses. Go in the early morning as soon as the doors open, despite the fact that you're a total night owl.

2. Read at least 104 books this year. Make sure most of them are real dry non-fiction. Then you'll have boundless sources for party chatter. The other party guests aren't running FROM you, they're running to direct other people TO you, because you are a font of fascinating tidbits.

3. See every film nominated for any Academy Award. Form strong opinions on all of them.

4. Learn to speak Mandarin. (You'll only use it to speak to your friends' precocious children from the Mandarin Immersion Preschool Program, but that will be a hoot!)

5. Curate the perfect Pinterest board for every possible occasion. Life is short, but the internet is vast. So get a move on!

6. Visit at least 25 national parks.

7. Defeat your peanut allergy with the power of positive thinking.

8. Meditate 90 minutes daily, you fidgety mess, you.

9. Solve Brexit.

10. Write and publish the great American novel of your generation.

Manic Hobgoblin is hilarious! (Pro tip: Laugh at the inner Manic Hobgoblin. Do not take him seriously.)

My only real New Year's Resolutions for 2019 are to read 30 books of any genres that strike my fancy and to watch all eight seasons of the original Charmed television series. So far I've read 10 books and watched the first two seasons of Charmed.