Monday, January 03, 2022

Manic Hobgoblin's Resolutions for 2022!

Manic Hobgoblin is an egomaniacal inner voice that previously lived in my head rent-free. He took off during the pandemic to a luxury bunker in an undisclosed location. As soon as he possibly could, he emerged from said bunker to resell toilet paper and face masks on the internet at a 4000% price markup. Manic Hobgoblin skipped the line for a COVID-19 vaccine, not at all sorry as he pushed past elderly individuals and immunocompromised people. He justified skipping the line for a vaccine, because he needed it to go on a VIP cruise lasting 245 days and traveling to 59 countries. Now he's back from the fancy cruise. 

Manic Hobgoblin ran out of money, and defaulted on his bunker payments. Lately he sneaks into my home (and my head) with alarming stealth. I tried to push him out, but he whisper-screamed some New Year resolutions to me. He said he won't leave until I share them with the world. Or at least with my 357 loyal readers. (You know who you are. I'm going to HEB later. Let me know if you need anything.)

Manic Hobgoblin's Resolutions for 2022 are as follows:

1. Learn some foreign languages such as Lemerig, Njerep and Ongota. Fluently.

2. Read every book in The Library of Congress.

3. Start an Etsy store that drop ships factory made stuff.

4. Become an actual social media influencer. 

5. Get plastic surgery for abdominal muscle implants. 

There. I did it. Hopefully Manic Hobgoblin will leave now. I'm trying to convince him to move into the Museum of Ice Cream so he can generate loads of content for his various social media accounts.

I'm not making any resolutions for myself. This pandemic took it out of me. I've let go of most of my control issues. I've let go of making concrete plans. I've let go of doing full hair and makeup every day. The closest thing to a resolution this year is setting my reading challenge goal to forty books over on Goodreads. 

Happy New Year! I'm hoping 2022 is better than the previous two years were. 

Felt festive & cute. Might delete later.