Haiku for My Phone

email, web access
full keypad, love your features;
clouds are kryptonite

If there is cloud cover, my T-Mobile Sidekick 3 doesn't make or receive calls. The text feature never worked. I can get texts, but I can not send, or reply to, texts. I'm not a big texter, but some of my friends are, and they get offended when I don't reply in kind. Sorry, it's not me, or you, it's my phone. The camera takes lousy photos. But I love the Sidekick's full keypad, email and web access.

During a recent visit to the T-Mobile store to look at the newer, cheaper and more useful Sidekick ID, the salesguy tried to convince me to upgrade to a much more expensive Blackberry/Crackberry. He said, "you and I are old enough that we don't need the silly looking Sidekick. That's what mom & dad buy for college kids. At our age, having a Sidekick is silly, like wearing a Hello Kitty backpack." I guess he didn't notice the Hello Kitty bandage on my hand. He went on to say that, "most mobile phones are only durable enough for eight to ten months of use." If this is true, why would I spend the money on a Blackberry?

It's almost enough to make me get a landline again.

Won't Somebody Please Have a Party?!

I love a good house party, because I love hanging out with friends in a relaxed atmosphere. I prefer house parties to gatherings out at a restaurant, because as a guest, you feel that there is no rush to claim your seat or table. No server hovers over you pointedly asking if they can get you anything else when what they really mean is, "please go away so I can seat someone else and make more money. I'm tired of looking at you." One of my friends needs to throw a house party soon. I'll bring a platter of food and bucket of chilled beverages. Please invite me.

Flowers & Food

I spent most of today covered in sweat and dirt, smelling and looking pretty gross, but loving the process of gardening. I like growing pretty flowers, smelly herbs and tomatoes: mmm... yummy, fresh, fragrant tomatoes. Chad and I are researching how to build raised growing beds right now. My friend, Kristen M., built ingenious raised veggie beds with tall chicken wire frames that had hinged doors for easy people-access but not so easy critter-access. I think we're going to copy her idea. I want to grow more of my own food, like eggplant, squash, zucchini and cucumbers, maybe some peppers.

Rainbow Hair

My four-year-old niece, Mary, has gorgeous red, curly hair. She notices and comments whenever she sees someone else with red hair. Other people's red hair is never as pretty as her red, curly hair though.

Mary informed me that I have rainbow hair like Christopher, her seven-year-old brother/my nephew. I think she was referring to his natural highlights. I am sporting a good six inches of natural hair color for the first time since eighth grade. My rainbow hair is natural, thank-you-very-much.

Among My People

Non-actor friends and family members, I love you. I really do. BUT, there's something about communing with other actors that validates me and my crazy creative drive to perform like nothing else. I've been participating in an acting and screenwriting workshop the past five Monday nights. Words can't express how grateful I am for this workshop. When I'm performing, it's like I'm extra-alive, it's exhilarating.

My friend, Daniel S., describes it well. "I'm really scared of heights, but I'm always the first to volunteer to climb the scaffolding. I like the rush of the fear and adrenaline. I think that's why I like acting." Dan and I were in a show together in January. He invited me into this invitation-only workshop that I love so much. Thank you, Dan!

The glowing comments I received from workshop last week: "Jennifer was back in form this week and she was another one that was shining, literally; that invisible cinematographer I mention below had lighted her perfectly. I have no idea how old Jennifer actually is (and, of course, would never ask) but she looked teenaged sitting across from David; it was if they matched up by osmosis. And it doesn’t take much more than this, folks, to show love; it was all in her eyes, punctuated nicely by every “Wait... What?”, without giving away that killer ending. This is definitely a Showcase scene for both of you and it’s odd that I have the least to say about it; no Adds, just praise which can be much more concise. Bravo."

I'm thirty-five. Praise from Caesar feels nice, ya'll... real nice.

Lose Four Pounds Fast!!!

Ask me how! Get food poisoning and you too can lose four pounds in just five days!

Blech. It was bad. Now I'm all better. I even went to the gym on Monday and Wednesday. Those four pounds are going to come right back once I rehydrate and actually retain some of the food I eat.

And, no, for the record, I'm NOT pregnant.

Harbinger of Illness

My terribly cranky Tuesday turned into tummy trouble. After 48 hours of yucky symptoms, I've used WebMD to diagnose myself with either food poisoning or gastroenteritis. If symptoms persist or worsen, I'll get myself over to the real doctor. For now, I'm just trying to stay hydrated and get enough rest.

I have zero appetite, but did manage to force down a chocolate chip cookie yesterday. Today's feasting has consisted of Propel fitness water, a small cube of cheese and a few multigrain crackers.

There's a line in the movie The Devil Wears Prada where the #1 assistant, Emily, boasts, "I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight". Trust me when I insist that this is not how I want to reach my goal weight!

I'm Feelin' Ya, Alexander

I liked this book when I was a kid. I remember that Alexander snaps out of his funk somehow, but I can't remember how.

It's muggy and hot outside. I am out of allergy meds. I have a headache. I'm hungry, but food is stupid. The dog is stinky and needs a bath. The dog is stinky and has gas. I got a sugar-coated, but still demoralizing email today. The refrigerator is making sounds like it's dying, and the pets find it very alarming. I have lots of laundry to do. It's a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Yet, I have so much for which I should be thankful. Not appreciating all the great stuff makes me feel even worse.

Off to get some allergy meds and coffee. Then I'll bathe the dog and finish the laundry. Maybe that will make me feel better?

Treating Myself Well

I decided that I needed to treat myself today after getting lots of projects done this week. I've gone four months without a haircut. Fate smiled on me this afternoon and I was able to get an appointment with my favorite stylist after she had a last-minute cancellation. I love what she did for my hair!

I usually wash and vacuum my car myself. Today, I got my car washed, vacuumed and hand dried at the full service Texaco car wash on Guadalupe at 32nd Street. They did a fantastic job! My car looks new again, and smells all yummy and citrusy.

As I drove home from my treats, I waited at a stop light. I looked around a bit as one does at a long stop light. The guy in the car next to me smiled at me and gave me the "how you doin'?" nod. He looked younger than I am, and pretty cute. Tee-hee...

I guess that the car and I were looking good.

Take time to treat yourself, or just to take care of yourself. Other people, sometimes complete strangers, will treat you well too.

Cosi cosi

Chad and I are taking Italian language classes for our upcoming trip to Rome, Florence and the Amalfi Coast. I'm very enthusiastic in trying to say things correctly in Italian, but I keep mixing in Spanish. Whoops. I do the homework each week for both (cheater!) Chad and I, yet Chad speaks Italian much better than I do. Not to sound like sour grapes, but Chad was born in Naples, Italy (navy brat) and spoke some of his first baby babble words in Italian. I think he has a distinct advantage.

So, um, do you like... stuff?

Today's blog title is a reference to a classic line from an episode of The Simpsons in which Lisa makes friends with some cool kids while on vacation. Chad and I say this line when we want to talk to each other, but don't know quite what to say. I've been feeling less than inspired to share info lately, but want to say hi. So, um, do you (gentle readers) like... stuff?

I just got home from my weekly acting workshop. The first week, I did well in my performance as a polygamist cult wife (one of three) who goes a little overboard with eBay purchasing. My instructor commented that I was off to a great start. Yay! Last week, I seamlessly went from smiling, joking trophy-wife to crying, shaking, crazy-with-grief-wife in my scene. My instructor commented that I knocked it out of the park and should be proud of my work. All the other actor-type-people wanted to be my best friend. Wooo-hooo! This week, I was supposed to play a faith-healer in a dramatic scene where I absorb a boy's cerebral palsy into my own body and heal him. The stage directions included liberal use of the word "convulsing". Ewww. I did not want to convulse on stage. Nope. My performance was not good. My instructor said, "Jennnnnn..." and shook his head. Boooo...

Lots of people I went to high school with have gone on to great things in the entertainment industry. Alan Tudyk has a thriving career acting in films. T.J. Thyne has been in films, commercials and now stars on the TV series Bones. Jeremy Schwartz has been in a few TV shows, some commercials and is now the announcer voice of Comedy Central.
Carl Greenblatt has voiced, written and animated cartoons such as SpongeBob Squarepants and is the main creator of Chowder on the Cartoon Network. These talented, fun people were once my peers. I am simultaneously inspired by, and completely demoralized by, their great national successes in comparison to my very modest local work. I'm sad that I waited this late in life to start my acting career in earnest.

Batgirl for Pay

We've all done things we're not terribly proud of to earn some money. Yesterday, I spent two hours dressed up as Batgirl walking up and down a four block area of 6th Street. Get your mind out of the gutter as I explain... I was one of the hired actors for an urban scavenger hunt called Go Game. Teams of contestants are set lose with a mobile phone tricked-out with GPS, email and text capabilities. They are also given a little lunchbox containing a digital camera and a few tools to help them with their scavenger hunt. Dressed as Batgirl, I was one of the people that contestants had to find. Their mission was to stage a tabloid photo with Batgirl caught doing unsuperhero-like activities. The teams were pretty creative and had me posing as a purse-snatcher, a bike thief, a mugger at an ATM, boozing it up at the shot bar (it was just cranberry juice!), getting caught in a (fake) surprise kiss, etc...

The game was lots of fun and the contestants were super-nice. The weird part of the day was waiting for teams to find me. Passing cars honked at me. Everyone who passed me on foot said, "hi Batgirl," or "hi Batwoman". Only a few people asked me why I was in costume. Several tourists (one couple all the way from Canada) took photos with me. Everyone felt like they could approach me and talk to me, which was kind of weird and different for me. My husband sums it up well, that I was "flying my freak flag" and thus a magnet for comments and interaction. No one (really, not one person) said anything rude to me.

Not that I will parade solo up and down 6th Street in racy costumes on a regular basis, but there are worse ways to earn paycheck.

Schmoozing Won't Land the Role

When asked for advice on how to make it in showbiz, Steve Martin likes to reply, "Be undeniably great."

I was very fortunate to attend a Q&A session with four of Austin's most prominent casting directors on Monday evening. When I first arrived, I felt intimidated as fellow-actors introduced themselves and asked which talent agent represents me. I sheepishly stammered that up to this point I've had no trouble booking my own work, thus no need for an agent. Then I became absolutely invisible to each one of those people as I watched them scan the auditorium for someone else to schmooze with, someone important, someone with one of the famous agents. I started to think that the evening was going to be a complete waste of my time, and would not yield anything useful.

Then the casting directors started their panel discussion. Every instinct I've ever had about professional acting was confirmed. These casting directors do NOT want gifts, birthday cards, holiday greetings or to be stalked. They want actors to show up on time to auditions, prepared with script pages, headshots (that actually look like you) and résumés in hand. They want actors to conduct themselves in a professional manner. They told us that if you're rude to the receptionist, that's points off, because no one wants to cast a diva. One casting director treated us to an anecdote about a certain producer who camps out in the waiting room incognito and observes how people conduct themselves.

Yes! Yay! Hooray! I'm so happy to hear all of this! I am professional, punctual, polite and prepared. I have zero interest in schmoozing or stalking.

I'm sending packets out to three talent agents this week to seek representation. While I don't need an agent for theatre/stage work anymore, I do need an agent if I ever hope to work in TV, films or commercials. Send happy thoughts my way.

Kenji's New Name

Kenji loves going outside when the weather is nice. She's only allowed out in the fenced backyard with parental supervision. She has to wear her collar with her city tag on it, just in case she sneaks out of the yard somehow. Her "necklace" and "pendant" match her blue Siamese eyes. Kenji wondered what her pendant said and I told her it said that she had her rabies vaccination and that it had a special number on it to help her get back home in case she gets lost. All this domesticity is a far-cry from Kenji's beginnings as a little streetwise kitten.

Kenji wants to keep it real. She's decided that her new name is Rabies, because it sounds tough. And it already says Rabies on her pendant.

Who Is That Middle-Aged Lady?

I've known since the 6th grade that I loved acting. When my dad passed away last year, the whole limited time on earth concept hit home in a hard way. I decided to lose weight and pursue acting in a more professional capacity. My big dream is land a role as a sitcom mom, work with a great cast for about five years and retire. After losing 28 pounds over the past year, today was the day I finally got my professional headshot photos taken.

I was excited to have a professional photographer take my photos. He did a great job, but I see wrinkles in my pictures. Ugh. When did I get old?

The upside is that I look old enough to be a sitcom mom now.

Flying High with Sean Penn / Karen's Wedding!

Hollywood bad-boy Sean Penn was on our flight from Santa Anna to Austin last night. He looks the same in person as he does on the big screen, only smaller.

We went west primarily for my friend Karen's wedding. I met Karen at freshman orientation at the University of Texas in the summer of 1991. She was cool. She knew about bands. She went to clubs. I didn't believe her when she said she would find me in the fall. She did! We were inseparable for two years until she took a break from school, and moved to New York City. We lost touch for a few years, then bumped into each other in Austin at the movies one Friday night. Boom -- fast friends again. We've stayed in touch ever since.

Chad and I arrived in LA Wednesday afternoon, staying at the lovely and eco-friendly Ambrose Hotel in Santa Monica. Karen waited tables at the restaurant Real Food Daily when she first moved out to LA ten years ago, so that's where we had dinner. It was fun to see where she worked, and the vegan menu was really/surprisingly yummy!

After dinner, we saw my favorite band, NadaSurf, with another good band, Sea Wolf, at The Music Box (a.k.a. Henry Fonda Theatre) on Hollywood Blvd. The Music Box features velvet curtains and a roomy, raised stage. The theatre has art nouveau touches like scrolly gold columns flanking box seats on either side of the stage. The venue lends a real sense of credible theatrical performance since the audience doesn't have to watch the band scramble to set-up and tune their instruments. The curtains come up with a sense of ceremony, and the band starts to play. Both bands delivered solid shows. Oddly, both bands featured cello players which added a real depth to the music. I did the silly bounce at the knees and bop your head dance to every song. I was that dorky girl that sang along.

Thursday we spent twelve hours at Disneyland. Bag on the Disney marketing machine all you want, but I grew up on the movies and the theme parks. I really enjoyed the trip down Childhood's Good Memory Lane. And I got to ride the Matterhorn roller coaster for the first time. Woooooo...

Friday's main event was Karen and Matthew's wedding. I'm so happy that Karen and Matthew found each other! Their wedding was gorgeous and fun, just like they are. The ceremony was outside under a perfect Malibu sky. I cried like a baby to see my longest-lasting, and delightfully wildest, friend joining her soul-mate in holy, monogamous matrimony. In short, the wedding was relaxed, joyful and perfect from a guest's perspective.

2 Quickies

First, I love hulu.com! This brilliant website is legal and free! Hulu.com has all sorts of new and old TV shows and movies for viewing with limited, quick commercial breaks.

I watched the first two episodes of The Return of Jezebel James starring Parker Posey and written by Amy Sherman Palladino of beloved Gilmore Girls fame. The show was okay: a little too quippy with recycled actors from Gilmore Girls and a plot premise that requires big suspension of disbelief. Maybe it will get better?

Second, I flew into the Palm Springs airport a few weekends ago for a girls' spa getaway with a pal from LA. So many people were packing pooches, literally carrying little cutie-dogs in glorified purses. I had a funny vision of myself trying to carry my forty-pound Janie-dog in a giant bag. I predict that bigger dogs will be the hot new fashion accessory! You'll get a good workout toting your furry friend.

TV Snob Embraces a Reality Show (It's British)

The writer's strike had me watching more shows on DVD or the internet, and reading books instead of watching the bad reality/competition show filler that the networks trotted out to fill the void. I typically don't like reality television. The editing and situations of reality television are mean and manipulative at best; and exploitative and potentially dangerous at worst. Oh, the humanity! (Sorry, Jenny. I know you like some of the reality shows.) Here's the big but, BUT I really like the BBC America show Last Restaurant Standing. This fancy-pants chef, Raymond Blanc, gives nine couples (some are romantic partners, but there are also sibling teams and one mother-son team) the chance to open a real restaurant with his backing. If you can catch a marathon of this on BBC America and catch up, or even just start viewing now, I highly recommend this show.

My top 3 picks for the teams/couples to win are:
Martin, a prison caterer, and his fiance Emma who works in a bingo hall.
Lloyd and Adwoa, an engaged couple who run market stalls selling food.
Sisters and children's entertainers, Jess and Laura.

On the subject of reality TV, I never watched Project Runway this season. I followed it last season, and liked it pretty well, but I wasn't into it this time around. I only have so much attention span to squander on TV.

Spring!

My first decade living in Austin, I hated the summer. The long seem-to-last-forever, hot record-breaking-temperatures, drain-my-life force summers were not my favorite (NMF). If you asked which was my favorite season, I'd answer fall, because it marked the longest amount of time until summer steamed back into town.

Now that I've lived here nearly seventeen years, I'm used to summer. I love going to Deep Eddy Pool and having Jim-Jim's water ices. I kinda like getting into my hot car after sitting in over-air-conditioned spaces. I see lots of movies. I've learned to slow my pace and constantly hydrate.

This year, I'm loving spring. Buds are bursting. Leaves are sprouting. Temperatures are rising and that lovely sun is shining. I'm okay with the impending summer; rather than viewing spring as the prettier harbinger of the long, hot season.

Chad and I raked, mowed, mulched and weeded this weekend in preparation for our spring yard. Janie sampled some of the fresh mulch and thought it was pretty tasty. She's learning the new command, "no! yucky!".

Getting to Know You

Janie did not go to work with Chad this week, because he was in New York, and she's not ready to fly just yet. Poor Janie was stuck at home with boring Mom (me) and the hissy kitties. Plus it rained two days this week. I've been trying to think up indoor activities such as tug-of-war and wrestling. We spend lots of time outside when it's dry enough.

I'm learning that Janie knows lots of cool commands and games. She totally knows:
sit
shake
her name
stay (when she's not too distracted)
go potty outside

If I pat my leg twice she knows that she needs to come with me, which is super-helpful when we go out for a midnight potty break, because I don't want to yell out her name to get her inside. She'll fetch her tennis ball and bring it back about three times before she decides she'd rather chew on the ball than give it back. We're working on the command "release" to have her give the ball back. Janie is learning "wait for it" when it comes to accepting a treat or a toy. She's always very gentle, but a bit clumsy.

Janie has been training me too. She'll take a piece of carrot for a treat once a day, but if I try this healthy treat option a second time in a day, it just sits on the floor uneaten. Janie sleeps in her crate through the night, and waits for me to come get her in the morning without barking or whining. Instead, she shakes her tags every few minutes when she's ready to get up and out, and that jingle-jangle noise makes me get out of bed. She knows that if she rests her head on my leg and looks super-sad, I put away the book/computer/project and pet her tummy. She lets me know she needs go out to potty by putting her two front feet on my knee or by giving a little bark and gesturing to the door with her head. My treats come in the form of happy prancing, tail-wagging and sweet, happy sighs from Janie.