Holidaze

Nevermind that I have a retail job this holiday season, and that I just put four SIX EIGHT dinner mystery shows on my calendar for the holiday season, there are fun things I want to squeeze into the superstuffed schedule this holiday season!

I can't remember what time I get done with work next Saturday, but if I am out of there early enough, I want to go to the Holiday Sing Along & Downtown Stroll. I've never been able to attend, but hear it's so fun and heartwarming in that love your fellow man kind of way. You know, versus the throw an elbow to get the last doorbuster deal behavior that all too often typifies the holidays.

The Austin Trail of Lights is back in all of its cheesy, electricity-sucking, junk food vendors and expensive parking glory! And I am going! There will be open-mouthed gawking at lights and tacky plywood cutouts. There will be consumption of kettle corn and funnel cake. There will be tripping over marauding hordes of distracted people.

I also want to watch classic holiday movies in the grand, historic Paramount Theatre. If you can't be sappy at Christmas, then when?

If I don't have to perform in a dinner theatre show on December 17th (the contract is still out), then I want to go to the Armadillo Christmas Bazaar that night to shop locally made gifts and listen to the musical stylings of The Eggmen. The Eggmen are a Beatles tribute band that change into spot-on perfect costumes and wigs for the different eras of Beatles music.

In between all that, I'll be watching my favorite holiday movies at home such as: Holiday Affair, Elf, A Christmas Story, Love Actually, Christmas Vacation and any Scooby Doo Christmas specials I can find. (Yes. I love me some Scooby Doo.)

May you days be merry and bright! Be nice out there, because Santa is watching. And because it's a really dumb idea to be rude to a retail worker to whom you're about to hand your credit card and personal information.

Escape to Dallas

I'm a sucker for festive lights at night (especially of the Asian lantern influence) and glass art (especially of the Suess-inspired variety). When I found out that both the Chinese Lantern Festival and Chihuly installations in Dallas mercifully extended their stays for over-scheduled, under-planned people such as myself, I booked a quick trip!

We hit the Chinese Lantern Festival at Dallas Fair Park first. Some of the lanterns featured traditional Asian themes and subjects. Chad and I liked these best. Some of the lantern scenes displayed strong Disney and Sanrio influences, barely avoiding tripping over trademarks. These seemed more suited to children with poor taste, and were not our favorites.

Silk wire-framed entry gates make for a giant lantern!

Fairy Temple straight ahead with dragon crafted out of plates to the side.

Quilin figures shaped out of glass beads and silk wire-framed bases. Amazing!

I loathe having my photo taken, but these blossom lanterns are lovely.

Next up on the to-see/to-do list: the Chihuly Exhibit at the Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Gardens. Admittedly, I was bummed that the evening exhibit was sold-out. However, once we arrived, I appreciated the sunlight for viewing all the gorgeous gardens, glass and gourds. (See what I did there with the alliteration? You love it. Don't pretend you don't.)

Charming Chihuly Chandelier

Chihuly Sun-like Orb, Chad's Favorite

Official title is Yellow Icicles, but I think it looks like a spiny cactus

We also ate some stuff in Dallas. Worth mentioning was the yummy Neapolitan style pizza and mista salad from Cane Rosso. Literally translated, that name means Red Dog. Nothing tasted like dog there, so thumbs-up!

idk

When I was a kid, if I didn't know how to do something, I would ask lots of questions until I felt confident enough to do whatever difficult task was vexing me. As an adult, I find that I get many different answers on how I should be doing something, or on what I should be doing, depending on who I ask. Many times, I get bombarded with unsolicited (and usually unwelcome) directions for daily life, menial tasks and far-reaching personal values.

I believe that no one person has all the answers for everyone and every situation. To quote a 1980s sitcom theme song, "what might be right for you, may not be right for some". It's perfectly acceptable to say to me, "I don't know" or even, very occasionally to say, "I don't care". Personally, I try to take the route of truthfully admitting, "I'm not sure, but I'm happy to try and figure it out together."

Happy Halloween!

In the grand tradition of recycling my dinner mystery show costumes into Halloween costumes, and because I affectionately call Chad "Frank" as in Frankenstein (because he's so tall and broad-shouldered with a habit of looming over me in our cozy house) we went as a modern day Munster couple to a Halloween party this weekend. Photo proof:

Breaking with tradition totally, a true dinner mystery show first, during Monday night's show at Maggiano's in the Domain there was a very interesting query from one audience member during the questioning of the suspects. A gentleman raised his hand, took the microphone saying, "I have a question", and proceeded to get down on bended knee while pulling a jewelry box from his pocket. He proposed to his date/girlfriend, who luckily said yes. Congratulations & best wishes to the happy couple!

Down with BYOP, Yeah You Know Me!

Chad and I broke free of last year's curmudgeonly ways. We found the time, energy and good cheer to throw what is turning out to be a biennial Bring Your Own Pumpkin party this past Friday. 

Pre-Party Candy Table

Pre-Party

Chad's pumpkin is all smiles, while mine is feline.

Kate shows off the tragedy side of their jack-o-lantern.

Lucy shows off the comedy side of their jack-o-lantern.

Dain wasn't ready for carving, opting for stickers.

The Fords chose a warty pumpkin monster with 3 eyes and a ghoulish grin.

I love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday by far. This week promises two dinner mystery shows featuring fun costumes  and a Monster Mash dance party! Chad and I will try to squeeze in a few scary movies too, I'm sure. And lots of candy, I'm positive.

Halloween Hijinks

Even if you don't think you like dinner theatre, you'll want to be at this happening Halloween party. Two words: candy buffet.

I'm not proud of...

Each time I sell a sectional sofa to an urban dweller with a small living room, a little piece of my internal interior decorator dies. Sectional sofas are appropriate for large open living areas; not tiny downtown condos.

That dinner theater I do is sometimes just a battle to be heard over drunk audience members who think they are funnier than we are. Note to all hecklers: you're not nearly as dashing, witty, charming or funny as you think you are. Shut up and let everyone enjoy the show, or promptly leave.

I loathe shades of beige, white and grey as color palettes for decorating. Yet it seems to be the candy that some of my customers want. Be ready to use some color if you ask for my decorating advice, or back away slowly towards the nearest exit.

Some of the clothing pieces for which I get the most compliments come from Old Navy. I know it's sweatshop labor made in outsourced lands. I know it's wrong. It's just so cute, on-trend and cheap sometimes. I can't wear fair-labor, American-made, more expensive clothes everyday.

I want to dye my hair blond. Even blonder than it is now. Not strawberry blond. Not white blond. Not 1970s looking highlighted blond. I want expensive, has to be touched up every few weeks, honey-blond all over my head.

And then...

I just put three dinner mystery shows on my calendar for the next month. I could have put five on the calendar, but I have this pesky personal life. I'm a bit selfish in insisting that I have time to spend with Chad and time to sleep.

I can't quit doing theatre and occasional commercial auditions or extra work any more than I can quit breathing. I crave the creativity.

That exciting opportunity I blogged about last week? Not so much. I have seen the sausage being made (metaphorically, of course), and I can't stomach it. I don't want that double-edged job.

I must get myself to the sewing machine and finish some projects! Clothing repairs, a picnic quilt and a purse pattern await completion.

Remember when I made that crazy squid for the Fronterfest play I also acted in? No? It was fun. I used floaty noodles from the pool supply store along with poly-fil to stuff the squid for the right combination of structure and squish. Here are photos to jog your memory:

I wish I could work with my hands more -- dreaming up crazy ideas and making them happen.

And then I need to figure out what I'm wearing for my Halloween costume this year. Suggestions?

Be Careful What You Wish For

Remember last year when I wrote a blog post about how caring for little furry souls as a job proved to be too much pressure for me? Remember how I said that in my next job, I just wanted to make things pretty? An exciting opportunity is afoot. I hope to share details soon.

If I jump at this opportunity, I'll leave the acting agency I'm with currently, and likely quit doing dinner theatre, at least for a while. I need to let go of one trapeze bar to catch the next. I have a lot of self esteem and identity wrapped up in being a (paid!) part-time actress. Thank goodness I have a sturdy net in the form of Chad.

Once More with Feeling

Come see children's TV show hosts behaving badly in "Can You Say Murder?" I play Detective Safety, also known as Clarice Dixon. She has a lisp. So it sounds like "Detective Thafety, altho know ath, Clarithe Dikthon." I try to give every character I play a unique quality that real-life people have. Real people sometimes have speech impediments or verbal idiosyncrasies. I sometimes repeat what people say to me if I like the way it sounds or if I'm trying to process exactly what they meant by what they said. That's my real-life verbal oddity.

Hope to see you at the show! (Click on the above graphic to make it larger so you can call for reservations.)

Guest Post: Janie Redecorates

Um. Hi. This is Janie. I am the dog. I have some thoughts and suggestions about the 1952 House.

I like my Mitchell Gold couch. It's real nice, but sometimes the people try to lay on it too. There is not enough room for both of us to stretch out. I found these chevron beds on flash-sale site Ruelala.com. If Jenn and Chad curl up, one of them could fit on each, and I could have the couch to myself.

Let's talk about the artwork in the 1952 House. Too many photos of chandeliers and too many limited-edition, hipster-made prints featuring cats and Pee Wee Herman. Let's have some dogs in the art. Not those silly poker playing dogs. Dogs don't play poker. We don't have thumbs. Our wagging tails would give away our hand, because we're guileless creatures. So here is some nice art from that sale too. I especially like the one about mutts that is a riff of that Sir Mixalot song. Although, I prefer the term "mystery-mix" to "mutt".

Also, and I can't stress this enough, please put the treats in the kitchen where I can reach them. I get tired of looking at you hopefully 15 times a day. Trading tricks for treats cheapens us both. Really.

**Credits: chevron beds by Thro, Marlo Lorenz. Artwork by Artehouse, Ginger Oliphant. All available on Ruelala.com for a limited time.**

Vay-cay-shun

We needed a break from our jobs, the 1952 House, our sweet (but demanding) pets, chores and whatnot. The rule in selecting the vacation destination this year: no big dirty cities. We wanted nature, cooler weather and not much of a hipster scene. Hood River, Oregon filled the bill.

Waterfalls, hiking, a brewery tour, daily siestas, reading fiction, touring local fruit stands/orchards and gazing out our hotel balcony doors at windsurfers filled the schedule. Being out in the boonies as it were, we had a great view of the Perseid Meteor Shower and the Milky Way. 

We also toured the Bonneville Dam mainly to check out the innovative, wildlife-friendly fish ladder. When we heard about the 450 pound Sturgeon fish down at the hatchery, we HAD to go meet him. His name is Herman. He is a big boy. 

On the way to the Portland Airport (just over an hour drive from Hood River) we decided to take a detour through Portland to shop at Powell's Books and deconstruct some Voodoo Doughnuts. The short time we spent in downtown Portland reminded us why we didn't want to vacation in a big city. Too many one-way streets, too little parking, too many aggressively weird people being aggressively weird.

Hopefully by next summer, the bank account will be ready for a trip to Ireland. If not, I vote for a stateside vacation in some other small town with not much to do aside from gawking at nature and soaking up cooler temperatures. 

Oh yeah... the show

I'll be performing in another dinner mystery show at Maggiano's on Monday. If you want to make me cry, ask me if I know all my lines yet to play the Master of Ceremonies / Detective, Heather Weathers.

Pretending to Redecorate

Just like the nation's economy, the budget at the 1952 House isn't what it used to be. On the count your blessings side of the fence, we have all that we need. On the glass half empty side of the fence, we don't have all that we want. Who does, right? A friend asked recently what I bought with my generous employee discount at my part-time retail job. My disappointing (to her and to me) reply, nothing. I got that job to help with the financial situation, not to be Spendy McGee.

Indulge me while I tour the items I would purchase if I could redecorate a bit right now. Starting in the living room:

I want this special order Chester sofa in Dandelion performance velvet from West Elm.

Janie-dog agrees that this sofa would be a lovely contrast to her dark fur.

Of course, pillows are needed for the sofa. 

These Kantha pillows from West Elm are handmade, and each is one of a kind.

This Swirl Rug from West Elm in an 8x10 size would be the perfect pop for the living room floor. 

I want a pair of these Turned Pedestal side tables from West Elm for a lighter, shabby-chic look,

or maybe a pair of these Carved Wood side tables for a more exotic look.

I love these unique Wezandla Wire Pendants from West Elm for the existing dining room light fixture. They would match our black dining table and red dining chairs most magnificently.

Perhaps you've sensed the West Elm theme? Um, employee discount! However, there are a few non-West Elm items for which I am pining.

I love this Orla Kiely bedding set from Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Mark your calendars for my birthday on October 8th. I'll be accepting gifts in the form of large bags of cash or preloaded Visa gift cards. Thanks in advance for your generosity.

I Love Fireworks

 I love fireworks. The lights. The sounds. The goofy musical accompaniments. 

What's your picnic?

The phrase, "it is no picnic", usually refers to something, someone or some event that is not fun or relaxing. Conversely, picnics are supposedly fun and relaxing, sustaining to the body and spirit.

Growing up, when my family had been apart for long periods of time between moves to new cities for my Dad's job, he usually wanted to spend time together with a picnic. He loved nature, healthy food and time together. That's not to say that there weren't ants, other creepy-crawlies, sudden gusts of wind/rain, or eye-rolling from my sister and/or I. My dad loved picnics.

What's your metaphorical "picnic"? That thing you like to do with other people that makes you feel great?

My picnic is going out dancing. I love a good DJ, swing band or 80s cover band. Though I lack formal training, general skills or innate rhythm, I make up for it with enthusiasm.

I also love playing board games with friends: especially Clue, Apples to Apples and Taboo.

Ricocheting Thoughts

Working part-time at West Elm, helping Chad plan an open house celebration for his office and learning a new script for last night's dinner mystery show that premiered to an appreciative audience, have eaten up most of my time, energy and brain power over the past few weeks. A few fleeting thoughts managed to ricochet briefly inside my noggin.

The people I work with at West Elm are so fun, interesting and unique. I could certainly make more money at another job, but would miss out on colorful coworkers who share my aesthetic sensibilities and extroverted nature.

I still like doing dinner theatre, but I don't like learning a new script nearly every month. When I spend hours at home studying lines, the profit margin plummets on those paychecks. Not to mention that my fellow actors also feel and display stress at performing a new script for the first time. Collectively, we most enjoy performing a script we've done a few times.

When someone is needlessly rude in my general direction or earshot, I remind myself of this quote from Plato, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Of course, sometimes someone is so needlessly rude that I look up their profile on one of many social and professional networking websites to find out that they love littering the internet with photos of themselves and hope to go to seminary school. Really?!

Sometimes the people that you think are your best, most loyal friends are just passing through your life like tourists snapping photos. Conversely, people that you once thought of as a temporary acquaintance become your most trusted advisers, sympathizers and conspirators.

I miss puppies and kittens. I don't want to adopt anymore furry housemates, but would love to foster some temporarily after vacation.

I love my gym. I love the yoga class that a sweet soul named "Pixie" teaches. I love putting my headphones on and spending quality time listening to music I like. I love a good stretch. I love feeling healthy and strong.

In the summer, I am even less interested in food than usual. It's too hot and sticky to eat, but then I get cranky from not eating. If left to my own devices, I'd subsist on a steady diet of fruit smoothies and non-dairy Italian ices all summer.

I leave you with this deep thought:

Murder on the Links in Two Weeks

I play a realtor who frequents an upscale country club. 

Decision Indecision

I have this weird decision weighing on me. It's weird, because I've rebuffed it so many times. Yet it keeps circling and buzzing in my ear. It defies logic and a simple pro-con list. It's eating up any extra brain power (which isn't much) I have. It's the kind of decision that if I wait a little longer, will probably cease to be an option. It's one of those things that might make me happier and more fulfilled, but I also have nightmares about it.

That's all I can say.

Wait! I can also say that the decision does not in any way involve human babies. I'm not pregnant, nor do I want to be. That's one decision with which I'm very much at peace. My maternal instincts only kick in for puppies and kittens.

Stuff I like vs. Stuff I don't love

Stuff I like that some other people don't like:

reading for fun

sewing things like pillows, makeup bags and quilt-tops

spending time alone being quiet

cats

dogs

cloudy days

rainy days

lukewarm coffee

a club DJ spinning dance-y, trance-y music

simple, vegetarian food

going to my gym

long walks at night

small parties where I know most attendees

acting in live theatrical shows

almost anything on public television's Masterpiece series


Then there's stuff that other people love for which I do not see the appeal:

outdoor festivals or concerts

zoos

super-sunny days

snout to tail "food"

overwrought food with more than ten ingredients / heavy food

Wes Anderson films

food trailers

parties with a bunch of people I don't know that get so loud I get tunnel-vision

visual disorder, messes or chaos, which also give me tunnel vision

jogging or running, especially outside

95% of all reality TV

having my picture taken

baby showers / wedding showers - I'll just send a gift. I absolutely don't need to watch you open it.

monster-trucks

rodeos

Practicing My Italian for Spaghetti Western

Next Monday, June 4, I'll play famous Italian movie star Anjelika Lotta in Maggiano's Murder Mystery Monday series, The Good, The Bad and The Dead. It's a spaghetti western... at an Italian restaurant... get it?

Why I Got a Second/Third Job

Some might argue that being an actress is a hobby, but I get paid to act, so I argue that it is a job. I also argue that being a homemaker is a job, because many people pay housekeepers to clean, organize, launder, tidy and whatnot their houses. I got my second/third (depending on how you personally look at it) job at West Elm, because we need stuff at the 1952 House. Here's a partial list in order of priority:

VACATION - need to see some nature in the Columbia River Gorge at end of summer

Car Repairs for my lovable, aging vehicle

King Size Mattress - current one boasts amazing hill and two deep valleys

Fridge - current one makes bad noises and was born in the 1980s

Microwave - big crack in the door frame that Chad assures me is not a problem?!?

Stove/oven - born in 1991 and cantankerous

Parking Pad - full of treacherous cracks and doesn't match paverstone driveway

Fat, Prosperous Savings Account

I also got my second/third job to meet some people and be social. At this stage in our lives, friends are so busy with family and careers, that working is the new socializing.

Have a great memorial day weekend. I'll be at West Elm for part of it. Come say hi.

Summer, Summer, Summa-tiii-iiime

This summer is going to be fun. I'm determined. Even if I can't get the Will Smith & DJ Jazzy Jeff video from youtube to embed in this post!

Record-breaking heat? No problem! Chad & I anticipate much fun in the air-conditioning with the Paramount Theatre's Classic Film Series courtesy of our Film Fan passes.

Limited finances? I start my new part-time job at West Elm on Monday. As if the employee discount weren't enough enticement, they'll pay me. The location is perfect. I get free garage parking. Dinner theatre gigs have also been abundant lately. I'll post info for the next open-to-the-public show soon. Mark your calendar for Monday, June 4!

Need to fly the coop? Chad and I plan to hightail it to the cooler climate and slower roll of the Columbia River Gorge, Oregon in August or September. I hear it rains there -- even in the summer!

Want some icy refreshment? Hello, Rita's! We've already been a few times this spring. Cotton Candy and Icy Pear are my favorite Italian ice flavors, while Chad usually opts for an ice and frozen custard mix. Of course I also like getting my meal through a straw with "The King" fruit smoothie from Central Market's smoothie & coffee bar. Who knew that putting peanut butter in a smoothie could be so deliciously perfect? Um, the fine smoothie mixologists at CM did!

Feeling outdoorsy? We're taking ourselves out to the ball park for a Round Rock Express game this weekend. We've already enjoyed a movie in the park courtesy of Austin Parks Foundation and Alamo Drafthouse's Rolling Road Show. Deep Eddy Pool, always a favorite, reopened after repairs and landscape renovation.

Ready? Set. Go!

Former Kitten Guest Foils Rattle Snake!

One of my former short-term foster kittens has grown up to be a genuine hero! Mouse (featured in this blog post) foiled a rattle snake hiding on his new family's porch, and lived to tell about it! His former long-term foster mom, and friend, E forwarded the following email:

Well, part of me doesn't even want to tell you this story but the other part wants you to know. Warning...get some Kleenex!  I believe Mr. Mouse came into our lives for a reason. One of the things he loves to do is sit on the back porch with me and get some fresh air. I don't let him out but he certainly loves to bird watch. This Sunday morning we went out and he went running behind a flower pot by my rocking chair. To our surprise there was a diamondback rattlesnake. 2 feet, 4rattles. And Mr. Mouse was bit. It was obvious to me he was badly injured. I rushed him to the emergency vet in Austin. We didn't come home until 9pm that night and I've been worried about whether he'd make it through. Now he is running, playing, cuddling, just his normal sweet self. This story is more than just about his great recovery. Had Mr. Mouse not found that snake on the back porch, there's no telling what would have happened. Had it bitten one of our girls,well, I don't want to think about it. I   am absolutely disgusted that we had a snake anywhere near the house, disturbed that my sweet kitty was hurt...but oh so grateful he protected us. Mr. Mouse now has hero status in our house! Just sharing about how your little fuzz ball has made a difference in our lives. Thanks for saving him, he's an angel. Here he is watching Idol with me now. I think he likes Skyler.

Look how big and handsome and heroic he is now! I think his new family should amend his name to be Mr. Mighty Mouse! Just, wow!

Time to Learn the Scripts

Friday night I got to play a wacky spiritual medium turned detective in A Spirited Murder for a group of students, administrators and faculty at University of Texas San Antonio. I had a blast, as did most of the audience and fellow cast members. I also loved the long, dark wig I got to wear. (That's me in the sparkly top.) The only downside was that I had to learn a completely new script in which my character had the lion's share of the lines. I had serious homework studying the script each night for a week.

Sunday morning I got to play a Hollywood actress turned detective in Murder on the Happy Trail for a group of high school band members and their chaperones at the Dave & Busters in San Antonio. It was a murder mystery brunch as opposed to a murder mystery dinner. We couldn't have asked for a better audience. They were so fun, receptive and engaged! However, this meant another road trip to San Antonio and more studying. I've done this script many times before, but our current director added about 10 pages of material back into the script that was previously cut. I had to learn new parts and remind myself of the old material, again with the lion's share of the lines.

On Monday, May 14 I will be in another new show with another completely new script to learn. At least this time, I'm not the detective and there is no road trip to San Antonio. Thank goodness! See flyer below for details. This show is open to the public. (That's you!)

Downtown Living Tour

Chad and I took a self-guided downtown living tour today. We saw some opulent highrise condos, some mediocre midrise condos on the sleepier & seedier side of downtown, one decaying but very expensive house in the middle of the dirty bar scene, and one lovely historic home amid trees that was not for sale and merely a tease.

After a very sweaty day of tromping around downtown, I'm convinced that the urban heat core is very real. It felt ten degrees hotter due to the lack of shade and the asphalt radiating heat back up towards the sun from whence it came. I'm also convinced that I don't want to live downtown. In fact, we were so tired, dehydrated, overheated, and just done with downtown, that we skipped the after-party with its promises of free refreshments and door prizes.

Someday we might find ourselves in a lowrise condo near Castle Hill, where trees abound, and we can walk to Whole Foods and the veterinarian. For now and for the foreseeable future, however, I love our 1952 House.

Jonathan Adler!

Chad and I were cruising up West 5th Street the other day when what to my wandering & wondering eyes should appear, but windows papered in Jonathan Adler logos of a store that will soon be here! Yes! We are getting a Jonathan Adler store in Austin!

Naturally I made my way to the nearest computer post-haste to apply for a retail sales job online. I hope I get a job at the new Jonathan Adler store, but will shop there enthusiastically regardless of the application outcome.

I love Jon A's (yeah, that's my special nickname for him) quirky, fun, let-the-pets-on-the-furniture approach to decorating. Because you know I love my decorating and my pets equally most days.

One of my favorite Jon A quotes, "I believe that when it comes to decorating, the wife is always right. Unless the husband is gay."

My dear Chad learned this lesson the hard way, when he (being my straight husband) got overly-opinionated during our newlywed search for a sitting surface. I wanted a clean-lined, modern sofa in a neutral color that we could accessorize with colorful pillows to suit our many moods. Chad wanted an overstuffed, odd-shade of olive, behemoth of a couch that had to be special ordered. We lived with that (I'm sorry, but eww-ugly) couch for first five years of our marriage. If only we'd had Jon A's Happy Chic books back then, I could have chosen my battle a bit more wisely with Jon A's sage words of wisdom to back me up!

Anyhoo, I'm going to shop the Jon A website now to make my wish-list for opening day.

Booking Work

I just put four, UPDATE: make that five!, more dinner mystery shows on my calendar for the next few weeks. Phew! If I could get six to eight shows a month on a consistent basis, I wouldn't need to get another part-time job. Acting could be my only part-time source of income.

None of the five retail places I took résumés and/or applications to have called or emailed me about an audition, um, I mean an interview. It's been over two weeks, which is a long time in retail job land. Maybe I'm stuck just being an actress, housewife and crazy pet lady for a while.

It won't afford me a Nanette Lepore wardrobe of my dreams or a new car, but maybe it's enough.

Time for Vacation! Planning

Chad and I live in a perfectly lovely city with noise, museums, theaters and shopping. No more city vacations for a while. I'd like our next vacation to offer relaxation and respite from the daily grind, preferably with some nice nature, but no golf courses.

Possible destination #1:

Columbia Gorge Hotel in Hood River, Oregon

Lush nature and some rain highly probable. No golf course!

Possible destination #2:

Saguaro Palm Springs Resort in Palm Springs, California

Cool in the desert. No golf course!

If you have relaxing destination suggestions in the USA (no golf course resorts!), please leave a comment with a link. Hoping to vacate Austin for five days in August or September.

No Thanks

I get many more spam comments advertising unsavory objects & subjects than real comments from friends, family or benevolent visitors on this blog. One comment today caught my eye:

hey there jennchad1952house.blogspot.com blogger found your site via search engine but it was hard to find and I see you could have more visitors because there are not so many comments yet. I have discovered site which offer to dramatically increase traffic to your site (not gonna post link) they claim they managed to get close to 1000 visitors/day using their services you could also get lot more targeted traffic from search engines as you have now. I used their services and got significantly more visitors to my site. Hope this helps :) They offer most cost effective (again, not pimping that link) Take care. Jason

Jason,

I appreciate you searching out my modest blog "via search engine". You and other strangers are welcome to read my ramblings when you stumble upon them.

However, I enjoy my low-key life and relative anonymity. I do not desire to generate more stranger-traffic to my blog. I do not want to moderate more spam-bot comments than I currently do.

Thanks for taking the time to comment. No thanks on the offer to increase traffic.

Incidentally, I tried to monetize this blog for a short while with AdSense automatically generated advertisements. I hoped that decorating resources would feature strongly in the ads. However, given my predisposition to semi-annual food-poisoning and frequent digestive tract maladies, all the ads were for diarrhea medications. Eww.

Live long & prosper,

Jenn

Cute Marketing

Got this as part of a marketing email today, and thought it was pretty stinkin' cute!

No Longer a Lenten Vegan

I quit my Lenten vegan quest last Sunday with weeks to go until Easter. I'm no longer vegan, but a lacto-ovo-vegetarian once more, and likely for the rest of my days. I definitely learned some things during my vegan experimentation.

I love my not-tested-on-animals, made in the USA, available in eleventy-million delicious flavors, Bonne Bell Lipsmackers, which have beeswax in them. The vegan hemp oil lip balms can't compete on price, flavors or moisturizing. Sorry bees.

I am not at all lactose-intolerant, but I am quite soy-sensitive. I'll spare you the disgusting details of discomfort. Trust me. Tofu and other highly-processed soy products do BAD things to my digestive tract.

Vegan cheese and vegan milk substitutes are so not to my liking.

I ate more highly processed foods as a vegan and gained a few pounds. I felt denied at meal times. Consequently, I overindulged in junky food stuff that parades as healthy.

If I had a million dollars, lived in downtown Austin and could eat every meal from the Whole Foods salad bar or ready-prepped sections, avoiding soy products, I might do okay as a vegan. I still wouldn't ENJOY being vegan.

If you think it's a pain in the patootie trying to dine out with a vegetarian, multiply that by at least ten when it comes to dining out with a vegan, especially in the suburbs or in cities that are less hippie-dippie-tolerant than Austin. A little perspective: Austin recently ranked #8 on the list for the most vegetarian/vegan-friendly cities in the United States of America.

Did I mention the soy-sensitive thing? Yeah? Well, it bears repeating. I am soy-sensitive, and it is pretty dang uncomfortable.

There. My terrible confession. I'm a vegetarian, but I can't make it as a vegan for even forty days.

Yep. $60.00

Time for me to procrastinate again. I have another script to re-memorize. At least eighteen months passed since I last performed this show. I'm the detective (again) which means I must remember the lion's share of the lines. I set the terrible precedent of memorizing the entire script back in my younger, brighter-eyed days. Dangit!

If you have $60 to spare, you can attend the show.

Reservations required! Call 512-501-7870.

Your Fourth-Grade Self

I've mentioned before on this blog that I am no longer on facebook. I deleted my account permanently last year. I got tired of seeing photos of events to which I was not invited. (Busted! You know who you are.) I got tired of reading the 15 congratulatory comments about every little thing that someone deigned to humble-brag in a status update. I got tired of being forced to "like" marketing campaigns under false pretenses when I really just wanted to enter a sweepstakes. I got tired of seeing people play their most well edited, greatest hits. I want to hear my friends, colleagues and acquaintances hit that achingly honest sour note once in a while, because if you're not going to be honest (funny-looking moles, bad vacations and all), then we're not really friends and never will be.

While still on facebook, I also caught myself wanting to search for people with whom I attended elementary school, junior high and the first two years of high school, but not really wanting to find them. In a weird way, I want to keep those happy, and even those not-so-happy memories of the people, places and times spent together in context. I don't want to know if my favorite little boyfriend from sixth grade got fat, lost all his hair and now sells used tires for a living to support his eight children and six ex-wives. I want to remember how we made each other laugh, got into trouble together for not paying attention in class and how we didn't speak to each other out of overly-self-conscious embarrassment for the four days we were officially "going together".

My family moved around more than most during my school years. I wouldn't know these former elementary and junior high classmates walking around in adult skin if I bumped into them on the street, so why should I spy on them online? Plus, if you moved around to new places like I did as a kid, you may agree that the only upside to helplessly being uprooted every few years was the opportunity to reinvent yourself. While my senior year high school friends might still recognize me, and think "yeah, that makes sense", anyone from elementary school probably forgot me many years ago. On the off chance that those elementary schoolmates do remember me, the adult version of me likely wouldn't be relevant compared to the fourth-grade version of me that they remember.

Lately I have been acutely aware that I don't have any lifelong (or even nearly lifelong) friendships. This lack of super-longstanding friendships leaves me feeling a bit untethered at times, yet also free from the past. I feel free to enjoy life in the moment, without worrying about how to spin it into a status update that will impress (or at least not alienate) friends, frenemies and family. I feel unfettered by past expectations and declarations. I appreciate the people in my life (really in my life) that much more.

Lenten Vegan - Almost Halfway to Easter

Things I've learned as a Lenten Vegan:

Even vegetarian restaurants might bring you a buttered (with butter made from cow milk), toasted bun when you order the supposedly vegan veggie burger. Ugh.

I like scrambled tofu better than I like scrambled eggs. Yay!

Sweet Ritual is a vegan ice cream shop near my house. They serve a "Glitterbeast Sundae" which is my new favorite indulgence. Yum!

Almond milk tastes like a milkshake, and is too thick. Coconut milk is too fatty. Low-fat rice milk is almost just right until the rice aftertaste hits. None of these stand up to hot coffee or hot tea. Eww.

Thank goodness for Wheatsville Coop and their clearly labeled vegan bakery items, hot food bar items and cold case takeaway items. The popcorn tofu po'boy sandwich is super-tasty and satisfying.

Food for Lovers makes just-as-good-as-the-real-deal queso.

I personally opine that Tofurky brand frozen vegan pizza makes my tummy hurt, and leaves an odd aftertaste. Bless them for trying though!

Lots of jellybean brands have beeswax in them. Boo...

Vegan chocolate tends toward a tad too chalky-dry or a tad too pasty-textured for my tastes.

Almond cheese is not necessarily vegan. Luckily I've learned to read the label carefully before it goes into the shopping cart.

Lenten Vegan Update

Being a vegan proves to be more expensive and require much more planning than being a vegetarian.

Lots of different junk foods are vegan including NewmanOs (like Oreos, but slightly healthier and more expensive) and most potato chips and tortilla chips. Of course fruits and vegetables are vegan, as well as many pastas. Finding vegan bread is tricky, unless I'm at Wheatsville Coop or Whole Foods. Thank goodness I live in Austin where most restaurants and food carts in town offer at least a few vegan dishes.

I thought that the vegetarian soy bacon in our freezer was vegan, but oops, the ingredients list clearly show egg and milk ingredients. So that was my first slip-up. I ate one piece on a bean taco Monday morning before scanning the ingredients.

On Leap Day yesterday, I was in San Antonio for a private show. Despite the fact that I planned ahead by slurping a vegan smoothie on the way to San Antonio and brought some almonds and an apple, I allowed myself some decidedly un-vegan cheesy noodles and a dinner roll after the show. I was hungry, tired, cranky and suffering from either a cold or terrible allergies. I needed some comfort food, and was in no position to find the vegan version of comfort food at 9:00 PM in the San Antonio Dave & Busters. Leap Day doesn't count, right?

With that confession, I started back on the vegan plan this morning. Chad and I are even going to try vegan pizza tonight. Don't worry, there's a backup dinner in the fridge in case it's gross.